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Joke of the Day

"Women's genitals are a lot like a shed roof If you don't nail it hard enough it will end up next door"

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. -Me with beer, me without beer"

"I'm a recovering alcoholic! :I'm recovering from last night!"

"*turns TV off* ""THEY HAD CAMERAS EVERYWHERE BUT NOBODY SAW THE TOYS WALKING AROUND?!"" - me every time I watch Toy Story 3"

"FACT: If you can trick a British person into saying ""fortnight"" they have to become your butler."

"If a kid refuses to go to sleep during nap time... Is he guilty of resisting a rest?"

"Just think of the money we could have saved with Hillary. We would have saved 24% by hiring a woman."

"What is the interior temperature of a Tauntaun? Lukewarm"

"My cat refuses to approach strangers. He's such a pussy."

"How do you separate the Greek boys from the Greek men at a Greek BBQ? With a Crowbar!!!!!"