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Joke of the Day

"I wonder how Beaker from the Muppets came to work at Dr. Bunsen Honeydew's laboratory. Is he just there as a college intern, or is he a graduated beaker?"

"If you couldn't tell, I am into fitness. Fitness whole slice of pizza into my mouth!"

"What did the dick say to the condom? Cover me, I'm going in."

"Why was the big hairy two-headed monster top of the class at school? Because two heads are better than one."

"My life is like Monopoly: sometimes I'm the racecar, sometimes I'm the iron. But usually I'm a peanut because I've lost all the game pieces."

"Bad News. Doctor: ""I have some bad news for you. You REALLY have to stop masturbating."" ""Oh my God doc, why, WHY?"" ""I am trying to examine you!"""

"What did the blind, deaf, mute girl get for Christmas?? Cancer."

"My friend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."

"A girl walks into a bar, asks the bartender for a double entendre. Then he gave it to her."

"My son asked me if mayonnaise was a mammal. *cashes in college fund *installs a pool in backyard"