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Joke of the Day

"My son asked me if mayonnaise was a mammal. *cashes in college fund *installs a pool in backyard"

"Did you know cats can jump higher than houses? This is because houses don't."

"Q: How did a blind man get poke marks on his face? A: Learning to eat with a fork."

"Unlike Jesus, I did not have a virgin birth It is, however, looking increasing likely that I'll have a virgin death"

"Broke Last night, a burglar broke into my flat looking for some money. I woke up and went with him to join him in the search."

"FACT: Uma Thurman is the only person to ever have been named by someone with a mouthful of food."

"What smells like pork? Kermits finger"

"What does the unemployed starving man ask his rich baker friend? I just need some bread"

"Blonde joke ""Nurse, could you please take Mr. Oliver's pulse?"" ""Why? Doesn't he have one of his own?"""

"I think gallows humor is gaining popularity. Then again, I wouldn't know. I'm always out of the loop."