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Joke of the Day
"My friend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo. I had to put my foot down."
Next Joke
"What's 12 inches long and stiff in the morning? Cot death."
"Walk up to a girl, sniff her hair, and whisper ""Perfect. Master will love you."" This is a great way to increase your tolerance to Mace..."
"What is the difference between a grizzly bear and a limp dick? There isn't one, you can't fuck with either one."
"Screwdriver walks into a bar Bartender says hey man we have a drink named after you? The screwdriver asks ""you have a drink named Steve?"""
"As a guy in the porn industry... I work hard."
"Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will track you down... You have my Word."
"To a young housewife: remember that a small bottle of vodka not only will decorate the table but also will hide your cooking mistakes."
"Sepp Blatter being re-ellected"
"Oh, did my tweet insulting a celebrity upset you? Maybe you should tell them about it the next time you guys hang out."