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Joke of the Day

"There's a queue for the whore house. A guy walks up, fists flying... ... He punches up the fuckline."

"A Jewish kid asks his father if he can borrow $30... The father says, ""$30! Do you have any idea how much money $20 is? Where am I going to get $10?"

"I am proud to announce that I have developed a foundation to aid abused women It's real thick to hide the bruises"

"Why did the monkey fall out of the tree Because he was dead."

"I always scroll to see how long an article is before I don't read it."

"PATIENT: Doc, I haven't been able to bone my wife lately and I really think- DR DOG: Wait. Tell me more about the bone part"

"Trump is like The Room. It's so bad, it's so good."

"Restrooms now have auto flushes, taps, hand dryers. But isn't it silly that you cancel all that by touching the door handle on your way out?"

"It's my mate's birthday today. He doesn't drink, smoke, gamble or cheat on his missus. We've got no idea how to celebrate it."

"Chuck Norris won an award today Kanye West sat politely in his seat."