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Joke of the Day

"What did the horny Astronomer say to the telescope? I wanna see Uranus."

"This alcohol tastes like there's a sock getting lucky tonight."

"It's weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn't show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future."

"Boss: Everyone is behind schedule and making excuses. Does everybody here think I'm an idiot Me: Don't ask. They swore me to secrecy."

"""I'm tired of you pushing me around and talking behind my back."" ----people in wheelchairs probably"

"This club sucks & tell the DJ to lighten up on the Enigma. SON, YOU PASSED OUT. THIS IS A CATHEDRAL"

"What happens if you get human DNA in a goat? You get banned from the petting zoo."

"Why did the ghost go to jail? He got arrested for possession."

"Quite the conundrum for us ass men... We cannot lie, but we must never trust a big butt and a smile. I'll see myself out now."

"I've seen some bad thieves in my life before... But this one couldn't even take the cake!"