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Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between a shower and a toilet? Showers take in lost of dirty people, but don't take shit from no one."

"How do you split $6 between 5 mexicans? You cut *Juan* out."

"Two days ago: omg, I'm so glad I found my watch, I'll never misplace it again! Today: *has zero clue where the hell my watch is*"

"A duck walks into a bar and says ""Get me some chapstick, and put it on my bill!"""

"What do you say we make this a Not-so-Silent Night?"

"What's worse than being German on D-Day? Being single on V-Day."

"a strain of weed that permanently erases your memories and reduces your brainwaves to the carefree infantile state of a newborn baby"

"Doctor: Well ma'am looks like you're pregnant. Woman: I'm pregnant? Doctor: No it just looks like you are."

"I was seeing this one girl for two months Until she found out I was there."

"What kind of pants does Mario wear? Denim Denim Denim"