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Joke of the Day

"You can spray tan a baby if you want to, it's not illegal."

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"What's the Difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts? One's $2.50 and the Other's Under a Buck!"
"What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye? Bull dozer"
"What does a Thesaurus eat for breakfast? A synonym roll."
"Do twins have the same size penis? It's a valid question. I'm sleeping with one and really hope the other brother is doing better"
"Just once I'd like to yell, ""Don't you know who I am?!"" because I'm important, not because I'm drunk and actually forgot."
"days 'til xmas Today is December 10th, there is is only 14 shoplifting days til xmas. Now get out there"
"After decades of research scientists in Texas have discovered a new use for sheep! Wool!"
"Single? Give your sexual partner a Valentine's Day treat by having a manicure."
"What's the best machine to impress women at the gym? The ATM"