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Joke of the Day

"I forgot to put on deodorant today but not to worry, if this urinal cake is good enough for the bathroom then it's good enough for me."

"I like my women like I like my coffee Without some other guy's dick in em"

"I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude... ... I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!"

"What's Mike Tyson's favorite Scarlett Johansson film? Luthy."

"Did you hear about the Chinese military general who deserted his position during a time of war? It was General Tso, and he will always be known as a chicken"

"Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me."

"tomorrow I am going to find the tomb of Ben Franklin and whisper stories of old and lusty ladies into his ear, as he would have wished it"

"*takes picture of son putting ornament on the tree* Okay, now give that back to mommy and don't touch another one, okay?"

"Let's not buy them two of all the same toys we said. It'll teach them to share, we said. We are idiots."

"What did the brazillian father ask for for christmas from his wife? ""A little head, baby"""