199999

Joke of the Day

"Airport security asked ""what's the purpose of your visit?"" So I said ""to terrorize the ladies!"" and we laughed and laughed and I'm being deported."

"I created a new word today. Plagiarism."

"Naked and Afraid, but it's just me staring down a spider in the shower."

"Been rubbing this thing on my carpet for 2 hours and still nothing. How the hell do you recharge a smart car?"

"Everybody was Kung Fu fighting. Except Gary. Gary was in your house going through your underwear drawer. He also kissed your cat."

"Dear Abby, I saw a questionable mole on this girl I like. How do I tell her without letting her know I hid a camera in her shower?"

"A man was killed with a starter pistol today Police think it might have been race related."

"Went into a five-star hotel to use the bathroom and now it's a two-star hotel."

"Because Nickleback sucks too.... So Avril Lavigne is Married to a fellow Canadian, who is a band member of Nickleback.... Apparently Canada does not have laws against same suck marriage. ba dump bump!"

"I knew my wife was having a bad day when she put her tampon behind her ear and couldn't find her cigarette."