192906

Joke of the Day

"A Cuban, a Canadian, and a White Supremacist walk into a bar... Bartender says, ""what'll it be Ted?"""

"Gonna invent a drink called Expresso that's just a cup of bees so people will stop asking for espresso incorrectly."

"Q: How can you tell when Bill Clinton is telling a lie by looking at his face? A: If his lips are moving then he's lying."

"OMG you guys! Almost hit a jogger while i was taking a selfie and driving today...so please you guys, be careful, do NOT jog."

"My penis is like the U.S. presidency Long and white, with a little bit of black on the tip."

"6yo Son: Dad, why'd you spray cologne down there when you got outta the shower? Me: How's ice cream for dinner sound?"

"If your surname is Dumpty, don't name your kid Humpty. I mean, seriously."

"What's brown and sounds like a bell? DUUUUNNNGGGGGG"

"How many Freudians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw in the bulb and the other to hold the penis..*ER..LADDER! I MEANT LADDER!*"

"I'd estimate about 28% of the drugs you've taken were smuggled here in someone's asshole."