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Joke of the Day

"Gonna invent a drink called Expresso that's just a cup of bees so people will stop asking for espresso incorrectly."

"Thanks Autocorrect, I did want to bang her braids out."

"(This one is better when spoken) Did you hear about the man with two penises? Yep. First one he named Jose. Second one he named hose B.(again, better spoken)"

"""The new iPhone 6 is bigger!"" Meh. ""It has more sensors!"" Pfft. ""You can block group texts."" I WOULD LIKE ONE THOUSAND OF YOUR IPHONE"

"Why do they call a bird that lives by the sea, a seagul? Because if it lived by the bay, it would be called a Bagel."

"My cat told me he's old enough to move out on his own now but then he said nah I'm just kitten"

"What do 9 out of 10 people agree on?"

"I made a butchers club The only problem is we can't agree to a meating time."

"[Spelling Bee] Your word is palindrome ""Can you use it in a sentence?"" Go hang a salami I'm a lasagna hog."

"Why does Gru speak with an accent? Because he's Arminion."