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Joke of the Day

"My penis is like the U.S. presidency Long and white, with a little bit of black on the tip."

"Girl: I think we should just be friends Me: ya okay, but I get to be Chandler!"

"Uh oh, someone is heading this way and it looks like they want to talk to me *flops to the ground like a toy in Toy Story*"

"Why do women get yeast infections? So they can know how it feels to live with an irritating cunt!"

"Where will a springer spaniel never shop? At a flea market!"

"I hope Hell freezes over soon. A few women have promised me dates when it happens."

"Whats the Difference Between AWD & 4x4? Your sexuality."

"Primaries are like childbirth. After a great deal pain, yelling, and recrimination, everyone forgets how awful it was until the next time."

"Life is just a series of obstacles preventing you from taking a nap."

"If a girl sleeps with a bunch of guys she's a slut. If I do the same thing then I'm gay"