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Joke of the Day

"All the desirable things in life are either illegal, expensive or fattening or married to someone else."

"What does Hillary Clinton call a Trump supporting turtle warming itself in the sun? A basking deplorable"

"A child molester and a young boy are walking into the dark woods.... ""I'm scared"", said the boy. ""YOU'RE scared?? I have to walk out of here alone!"""

"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial."

"""Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"" ""We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"""

"What kind of car does Jesus drive? A Christler. Oh no. Wait.. He drove a Honda. But he didn't like talking about it. John 12:49 : > For I did not speak of my own Accord."

"My friend made this joke after there was an accident at his gym where him and his friends to parkour. My friend broke toes while doing a wall flip. I guess he got off on the wrong foot."

"What does every Tickle Me Elmo receive before it leaves the factory? Two testicles."

"My ex was a true professional.she said ""you are fired"" when we broke up."

"Why did the fisherman want to go fishing in Alaska? Just for the halibut."