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Joke of the Day

"Policeman: Why were you speeding? Driver: I didn't want to be late for my trial."

"I'm not saying your house is haunted, but I think a ghost just ate all of your Gummy Bears while you were in the bathroom."

"Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur? A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus."

"Why didn't the Siamese chicken cross the road? he was two chickens"

"If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, ""Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"""

"Why is it socially acceptable to wear a bikini at the beach but not on the bus? At the end of the day I'm just a guy in a bikini on the bus."

"I won't visit /r/aww Its nothing but kitty porn"

"What do you call a restaurant that sells food that contains weed? McBongald's"

"What do you call people that you hate? Clouds, because once they are gone it's a beautiful day."

"A buddy of mine isn't sure whether he believes in creamy holiday beverages or not. He's eggnogstic."