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Joke of the Day

"What does Hillary Clinton call a Trump supporting turtle warming itself in the sun? A basking deplorable"

"What are Cephalopod Ghosts made of? Octoplasm."

"It's 'before' not 'B4'... We don't speak Bingo here..."

"Damn boy, are you fresh ground pepper? Coz you're kinda boring and you've been on top of everything."

"On Facebook, my friend became a fan of Paris Hilton, Heidi Montag and Nickelback. I became a fan of unfriending her."

"President Obama is doubling down on fighting global warming He's already sent three battalions of Marines to invade the Sun."

"What did the ocean say to the river? ""You can run but you can't tide."""

"I called a colleague inviting him to an orgy. He asked how many people will be there. I said "" if you and your wife come, there will be three of us."""

"Why did the ambassador have extra resistance to harmful foreign bacteria? He had diplomatic immunity."

"[creation] GOD: Gather round creatures & I'll tell you what you'll eat ANTEATER: I'm SO excited! DUNG BEETLE: I got a bad feeling about this"