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Joke of the Day

"""Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"" ""We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"""

"Your ""poetic"" tweets would be so much better if Adele hadn't thought of them first"

"What do you call a tire named after Ferris Bueller? A Ferris Wheel."

"""Love me or hate me, both are in my favor...If u love me, I'll always be in your heart...If u hate me, I'll always be in your mind"" -Shakespeare"

"How do you make a cat bark? Soak it in lighter fluid, throw a match on it. Woof!"

"Life is like a penis... Life is like a penis, simple, chilled and free. It's women who make it hard... And kids who make it harder."

"My neighbour has had a record 44 concussions. He lives very close to me. A stone's throw away in fact -StewartFrancis"

"About to go for a run, because shoplifting"

"Dear White People, Stop making videos of yourselves singing songs from 'Frozen'!"

"When does a black person become a nigger? As soon as he leaves the room."