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Joke of the Day

"Q: What does Star Trek's Dr Bones McCoy say before he performs brain surgery on a blonde? A: Space. The final frontier.........."

"If my girl didn't want me to wear her new Christmas thong, she shouldn't have said she bought it ""for me."" Women are confusing."

"Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl in the bathroom? Because it has a silent P!"

"A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers and says, ""Five beers please!"""

"[first day as diving instructor] Guy [from the back]: what's the signal for a shark Me: sharks don't really give signals they just show up"

"The liquor store clerk just wished me a merry Christmas as if she weren't going to see me 7 more times before then."

"[1 of 4 car accidents caused by texting & driving] PEOPLE: won't be me [1 in 292 million chance of winning powerball] PEOPLE: you never know"

"Dawn's coming over. ""Dawn from work, or crazy Dawn?"" *Dawn walks in* ""WELL WELL WELL, if it isn't the lady I'm framing for murder."

"Yo momma's so fat... She was crowned dairy Queen of the food court."

"I found out my best friend was a heroin addict... Needles to say, that friendship ended quickly."