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Joke of the Day

"Watson, Sherlock Holmes's faithful assistant, asked, ""What's a ten-letter word meaning 'supplying nourishment'?"" Sherlock replied, ""Alimentary, my dear Watson."""

"Difference between a 14 year old girl and a Volvo? I don't have a Volvo BOUND AND GAGGED IN MY BASEMENT"

"Interviewer: What would you say is your greatest strength? Me: Definitely my insecurities. Very strong."

"What blood type does a motivational speaker have? B Positive!"

"My wife told me she thought the clone troopers were kinda hot I told her she might have a Fettish."

"I absolutely recommend falling in love with your twitter crush and traveling about 3612 miles to boink them."

"Little Susie Why did little Susie fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. *Who's there?* Not little Susie."

"What's the affirmative response to a Jamaican mother? Yeah mom!"

"What's the worst part of fucking twenty-seven year olds? There's twenty of them."

"The people you lose sleep over don't lose sleep over you. So, help out and drunk dial them at 3AM...."