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Joke of the Day

"It's difficult to be romantic when your dog always eats the trail of McNuggets leading to the bedroom."

"Jesus went into an inn. He handed the innkeeper 3 nails and asked, ""Can you put me up for the night?"""

"I'm On the Edge About Masturbation On one hand, it feels great. On the other, I can't feel a thing."

"Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake? It wasn't his fault."

"Women, should start bragging about their size like men do. For example, I happen to be hung like a Tic-Tac."

"Just saw a kid go down a slide looking at an iPhone. End of the world or multi-tasking?"

"Listen guys, if a 5yo comes up to you and asks if it's true that zombies won't eat kids who eat their broccoli, BACK ME UP, DAMN IT."

"[School] Teacher: What's ur biggst fear? Child1: Ghosts! Child2: Dogs! Child3: That humanity's core reaction to misunderstanding is anger"

"I don't like telling clever jokes about airplanes. They just go over my head."

"Go for someone who is not only proud to have you but will also take every risk just to be with you."