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Joke of the Day

"You know what I like about bathroom humor? It's funny shit!"

"A Psychic Buying Clothes Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small. Employee: You didn't even try it on. Psychic: I'm a medium."

"Why didn't Hitler participate in the marathon? ... Because he can't finish a race."

"Her dad said he'd like to see me make an honest woman out of her. I had to resist the urge to tell him that ship sailed long before me."

"What did the one electron say to the other when it asked it out on a date? Get outta here, I'm not attracted to you!"

"What's the worst part about seeing 4 black people go off a cliff in a Cadillac? Cadillac seats 5."

"When do Astronauts eat? Launch Time"

"I don't mind people sneezing in public. It's that ""Pre-sneeze face"" they make that scares the hell out of me."

"Woman:""Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?"" Man: ""Either way love, we'll be having sex in a minute"""

"I make the stupidest excuses just to skip the gym. *burns tongue while drinking coffee* ""Oh no! I really wanted to go to the gym today!"""