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Joke of the Day

"Batman: ""Shall we watch a film?"" Superman: ""Have you got Cape Fear?"" Batman: ""Only in revolving doors. Now, a film?"""

"Let's play the Rihanna drinking game! We'll drink a shot of vodka every time she says 'work'. [2 minutes later] *house is on fire*"

"I wanted to learn how to drive a stick shift. But I couldn't find a manual."

"Mail order bride I just got a mail order bride from prague, I guess you could call her a Czech mate."

"if we know your religion, stance on gun control & how many kids you have just by looking at your car, you have way too many bumper stickers"

"My decision to have kids was based solely on the fact that I was so tired of seeing movies in their entirety & craved constant interruption."

"The local cemetery has been really popular lately People are dying to get in."

"Why should you be careful playing against a team of big cats? They might be cheetahs!"

"I've just bought a transparent megaphone. Now everyone can hear me loud and clear."

"You know you're drunk when... ...you get home, put food in the microwave, and then enter your pin number."