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Joke of the Day

"And the Lord said to Peter ""come forth and you will receive eternal life"". But Peter came fifth and won a toaster."

"A man walks into a bar ... and stays there my entire childhood."

"What did Dr Dre say to his wife during Netflix and chill? Hope you're ready for the next episode"

"Fed Up with PETA. We should start an organization called People for the Unethical Treatment of Animals. We'd be knows as a bunch of P.U.T.As"

"I just recently bought a used car and I took it back 2 days later. ""This car is useless. It doesn't go past 60 up a hill."" ""60 uphill is really good. What's wrong with that?"" ""I live at 74."""

"Why was the fish swimming backwards? It didn't want to get water in its eyes."

"There once was a soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray... He is now a seasoned veteran."

"ADELE: hello from the outside ME (closing blinds): a restraining order means nothing to that woman"

"Did you hear about the midget psychic who escaped from prison? The headline read ""Small medium at large."""

"Did you hear the joke about ebola? Never mind, you won't get it."