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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a terrorist and a woman with PMS? You can negotiate with a terrorist."

"Oprah and Hilary have a backup plan if trump wins The catcher in the rye is going to be featured in Oprah's book club"

"I've been married for about 45 lbs."

"my boss tried to throw me under the bus.. and get me to agree with him."

"Me: *pouts at front facing camera* Front facing camera: I have a girlfriend."

"Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a minute, but set him on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."

"Give a man a fire, and he will be warm for a night Light a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life."

"What goes well with a mans jean jacket? A suicide note."

"I dropped acid this morning The teacher made us evacuate the lab."

"HR wants me to give myself a self evaluation. This will be the first and last time they make this mistake."