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Joke of the Day

"What is the Sun's favorite candy? Starburst! Another one from my 9 year old. I don't know where he gets it."

"My doctor told me to drink 8 bottles of water a day I have to buy a case of bud light every 3 days now"

"[Jewish joke] Did you hear about the old Mohel who got fired from his synagogue? He got the sack! [(definition)](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohel)"

"What do you do if you come across a lion in the jungle? Wipe it off and say you're sorry."

"Mass suicide cult leaders are a dying breed"

"Two duck hunters You know about the two duck hunters who were found dead in Texas? The lawyer for the defence says the accused acted in self defence and that the community says duck lives matter too."

"When I was a kid I was so afraid of being kidnapped until my mom assured me there was no way in Hell anyone would ever want to take me."

"As a priest finishes paying for his hotel room, he says to the cashier: ""And can you make sure the porn in my room is disabled?"" Cashier: ""right you are, you filthy bastard!"""

"Global warming can reduce terrorism because the isis melting."

"What do you call a gay guy flying a plane? The pilot."