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Joke of the Day

"Why did the semen cross the road? I wore the wrong sock."

"Want to hear a joke about Sodium? Na"

"Why is Ireland so rich? Because their capital is always Dublin."

"Picture someone stepping down off a curb that they didn't realize was there. Now you can say you've seen me dance."

"My uncle once punched his 8-year-old daughter for cheating while playing cards. *He takes strip poker very seriously.*"

"How do you catch a Swedish fish? With a gummy worm as bait"

"How to catch a polar bear: 1) Cut a hole in the ice. 2) Carefully place peas in a circle around the hole. 3) Hide and wait. 4) When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole."

"Haloween is over, but i just saw a group of people dressed up as the ghosts of the Cone Heads."

"Online dating rule: If we meet up offline, and you look nothing like your pictures, then you're buying me drinks until you do."

"An ISIS recruit asks his wife.. ""Let's try 69 tonight"" Wife says, ""You should rather try 72"". She then blows him up."