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Joke of the Day

"How to catch a polar bear: 1) Cut a hole in the ice. 2) Carefully place peas in a circle around the hole. 3) Hide and wait. 4) When the polar bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice-hole."

Next Joke
 
"You know you are getting old when you have to scroll down, scroll down, and scroll down some more, to select the year you were born."
"Why are redneck murders so hard to solve? Because all the DNA matches and there's no dental records."
"I bought some shoes from my drug dealer... I don't know what he laced them with, but I've been trippin' all day."
"Why are camels called the ships of the desert? They're full of Iraqi semen."
"What was Amanda Todds favorite cocktail? Sex on the bleach."
"Killing people is just like smoking cigarettes I can stop whenever I want"
"Me: how old is your daughter? Person: she's 31 months Me: ok but like how old in minutes?"
"I asked Santa for a new energy policy... ...but all I got in my stocking was a lump of coal. :-("
"Whenever you're feeling really bad about yourself just remember, there's people that pay money to exercise."