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Joke of the Day

"Yesterday I saw an ad that said ""radio for sale, $1, volume stuck on full"" I thought, ""I can't turn that down"""

"Why are all the guys banging hot chicks in porn fat and ugly? I don't know, but sign me up!"

"If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away."

"Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has died following a stroke but why she was following it, nobody knows."

"Crocs Why is wearing Crocs like getting a blowjob from a man? Because it feels fantastic, but then you look down and realise you're gay."

"I haven't seen the U.S. drop two on Japan that quickly since 1945"

"Two Pretzels walk into a bar... One was a salted."

"[Native Americans see ship approach] Let's use fake names lol ""Ha! I'll be Running Bear,u be Crazy Horse"" lmao do u think they'll believe us"

"I need a thingy to fix the thingy because the thingy came loose and the thingy is wiggly now. Do you sell those? -Me, at Home Depot"

"*job interview* so tell me a fun fact about yourself Guy: well when I was 5 I fell into the Cincinnati Zoo gorilla exh- get the hell out"