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Joke of the Day
"If something rolls off of my plate... I eat it first, as punishment for trying to run away."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the doctor who fell into a well? He should have been attending to the sick and left the well alone."
"What do you call a white grandmother? A gran-cracker"
"Short joke I thought of. What's the difference between sheep and women? The Welsh don't know yet either."
"What's the difference in red and purple...? ... How hard you squeeze it."
"I had sex for an hour and 20 seconds today... Thank you daylight savings time."
"[first day in the mob] *leans over to mafioso* Hey, so, uhh, I've always wondered: are they all just named ""Don"" or..."
"What do you call a thick wire made of phone batteries? Likable"
"I Need a Drink"
"In the near future, little old ladies won't know how to sew, knit, or quilt, but they'll take awesome self-pics in bathroom mirrors."