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Joke of the Day

"Ex-Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher has died following a stroke but why she was following it, nobody knows."

"What's the difference between a homeless wanker and a pimp? One's a broke stroker and the other is a stroke broker."

"I, for one, like Roman numerals."

"2012: Oh no, my iPhone is at 10% and there's no charger. 1812: Oh no, winter is starting."

"What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose? A collie-flower !"

"To err is human; but to really mess things up requires a computer."

"My friend called me dyslexic... I told him that he's a smart fella."

"Don't worry Jennifer Lawrence... Every icloud has a silver linings."

"*Guy is rushed in on a stretcher* DR: what happened EMT: we found him passed out & seizing during a shrek marathon DR: WE'VE GOT AN OGREDOSE"

"Gordon Ramsey... Who was the first five star cook in ancient Egypt? Pharoh Godron Ramses! Who is his favorite god? Its fuckin Ra!"