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Joke of the Day
"How many trains have I derailed in all my years as a train driver? It's hard to keep track."
Next Joke
"Double standards are the worst. I mean, if a girl sleeps with lots of guys, she's considered a slut. But when a guy does it, he's considered a homosexual."
"Damon girl, did you fall from heaven? Because your face sure shows it."
"My son can now reach the light switches so don't come over my house unless you're really into raves or want to have a seizure."
"Pretzels come in twist shape because the twist is how disappointed you are in your snack."
"If you believe everything you hear about trump Urine in for a long four years...."
"How many narcissists does it take to change a lightbulb? One to hold it and the rest of the world to spin around them."
"I don't mean to brag, but I'm extremely talented with my lips and tongue. *Whistles The Andy Griffith Show theme song flawlessly*"
"What drinking game can you play with some Mormon buddies Drink every time r/funny is actually funny"
"Might love you quicker if you bring me more Liquor."