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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a crisis where you're the same before and after? An identity crisis!"

"What's the difference between a daydreamer and a pervert? A daydreamer stares out of windows."

"Why do Catholics eat fish on Good Friday? Because Jesus died for our fins."

"I still can't get over the news about the marathon.. Even though it happened more than 20 years ago, I'll never get used to calling it Snickers."

"Is it physically possible to be sad in rollerskates? Cause I think my cat's just being dramatic."

"Did you know tank tops were illegal until the U.S constitution came out? It gave people the right to bare arms."

"The real reason the Mayan civilization collapsed is they never updated their Adobe."

"What did Tony Abbott do when he heard Denmark had surplus wind power ? Cut funding for wind power in Australia"

"A wise Chinese man once said... ""If a dog barks... its probably undercooked""."

"I cheated on my wife once. We were playing monopoly and when she wasn't looking I stole some of her money. Then I went upstairs and fucked her sister."