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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a proclamation from the Vatican and a mail-order husband from ebay? One's a papal mandate and the other's a paypal man-date."

"So i've heard that christmas is cancelled this year... ... Joseph confessed everything."

"Me: ""Hey towel, you're looking good. What u doing later?"" Wife: That's not what I meant by pick up my towel. Just hand it to me, idiot."

"What part of the body does a woman never move while dancing Her bowels"

"Did you hear about the vintage attache with a perfectly working clasp? It was a classic open-and-shut case."

"Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He needed a pencil to work it out."

"What's the most disloyal animal to it's mate? A cheetah."

"My attorney likes to earn from my mistakes."

"What's ET short for? Because he's got little legs."

"i hate when the news guys say ""our nation's capital"". stop jerking us around and tell us what city it is"