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Joke of the Day

"Cup of coffee Patient: Doctor help me please, every time I drink a cup of coffee I get this intense stinging in my eye. Doctor: I suggest you remove the spoon before drinking"

"I was having sex with this girl last night and she kept screaming the wrong name all night. I wonder who tape is..."

"One direction splitting up? My daughter just announced to me she is in d-Niall :-)"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who weren't expecting a ternary joke."

"""DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!"" -adolescent Thor"

"Why can't your nose be 12 inches long? Then it'll be a foot. I'm so sorry."

"What is the first sign of AIDS? Sharp pounding sensation in your ass."

"Knock knock..."

"I have twin brothers named Juan and Amal. I only carry a picture of one of them because if you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal."

"Why don't people name their kids 'Napoleon'? It's too complex"