192003

Joke of the Day

"So it's legal to sleep on a pillow but illegal to hold it over someone's face until they die? Ugh, government"

"It was a sad day when I discovered... my new Universal Remote Control does not, in fact, control the Universe. Not even remotely."

"New camouflaged condoms! She'll never see you coming again."

"A tapdancer walks into a room and looks at the floor. ""I'd tap that."""

"A cowboy walks into a gay bar... He says to the bartender, ""I'm so thirsty I could lick the sweat off a cow's balls."" The bartender replies ""Moo?"""

"Padme: Dating is scaring. I just want to find a nice guy who's not going to murder me. Anakin: You've chosen wisely."

"What baked treat shares its name with a gynaecological apparatus? Flapjacks."

"Women are like Siberian Tigers... They're both very pretty to look at, and you can have a lot of fun with each IF they're unconscious, but if its a live one, keep it the *hell* away from me."

"A man walks into a library with a book on suicide. The librarian says, ""sorry to hear about your friend""."

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