191995

Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock 'Who's there?' 'Europe.' 'Europe who?' 'No, you're a poo.'"

"Weird how it's always the women with multiple muffin tops wearing the tightest tank tops money can buy"

"What's a moo hoo for a tug-of-war between two longhorns? A bull pull!"

"Today I learned the hard way if you over-pluck your eyebrows everyone thinks you're interested in what they are saying"

"Ever feel a little ""too"" relaxed? Is your day going ""pretty ok""? Are you enjoying doing a thing? Introducing ""Panic Attacks"" Panic AttacksTM"

"Father: I want to take my girl our of this terrible math class. Teacher: But she's top of the class. Father: That's why I think it must be a terrible class."

"Why are French guns the best to buy? They've never been fired, and only dropped once."

"Why are ugly guys better with computers then women? Turning off a computer often fixes the problem."

"[Phone rings] Babysitter: Hello? Dude: Dont. Go. Upstairs. Babysitter: Wha.. What's upstairs? Dude: NOT MUCH, STAIRS, WHAT'S UP WITH YOU"

"What did Antonin Scalia's pathologist write in his autopsy report? Cause of death: Hippy-energy induced heart attack. Time of death: finally."