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Joke of the Day

"Why are French guns the best to buy? They've never been fired, and only dropped once."

"My boss really hates that I shortened his name to Dick.... Especially since his name is Steve"

"Brexit's Worst-Case Scenario: Brexit to be followed by Grexit. Departugal. Italeave. Fruckoff. Czechout. Oustria. Finish. Slovlong. Latervia. Byegium.. until EU reach the state of Germlonely."

"Why did everybody where white pants at The Masters? Dustin Johnson sneezed."

"Someone hash-tagged ""share the love,"" and I read it as ""shave the love."" I thought, yeah, I can get on board with that."

"Text this to someone: I just love making you check your phone for no reason, who's my bi$ch? You are."

"New rule: Confederate States don't get to pick who sings ""God Bless America"". We'll fly someone in from up north."

"Calm down 'Fitbit' joggers. I can drink one 5-Hour Energy and reach my target heart rate without even getting off my couch"

"My friend told he she thought she looked fat and needed a compliment I told her she had perfect eyesight"

"how many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? none. they just beat it for being black!"