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Joke of the Day

"Guy: [pulls out knife] Me: But I'm allergic to stainless steel Guy: [stabs me] Me: Noooo I'll get a rash"

"Pregnancy in the 1940's. (Doc) - ""Mrs. Smith, I have some **great** news for you"".... (Patient) - ""Thats MISS Smith, doctor!"".... (Doc) - ""Miss Smith, I have some *bad* news for you""...."

"A CW told me for the 50th time that her baby learned how to walk so I told her""if you really wanna impress me lmk when it learns how to fly"""

"Say what you want about cargo pants but no woman has ever turned down a guy who can carry 7 puppies at once"

"You know where the most original posts on reddit are? /r/Jokes"

"Pappu:- Should i punished for the work which I have not done?? Teacher: - No of course not, but why do you ask? Pappu: - Because, I have not done my home work.... :) :)"

"Why does Snoop Dog always smile like he knows something you don't? Because he's been snooping around."

"Sperm whales were created when Chuck Norris masterbated in the ocean."

"How do you kill a fox? Give him a fake leg and make him run across Canada."

"Did you hear about the vampire who joined an orchestra? He stood on the roof and conducted lightning."