191988

Joke of the Day

"Sir, on a scale, How much do you weigh?"

"How are women and hurricanes alike? The both moan like hell when they come, and take the house when they leave."

"Why did the 80-year-old man call his dick Jesus? It takes 3 days for it to rise again."

"I do not care how old I am. I am going in the bouncy castle!"

"One time I saw a duck get hit by a wonder bread truck and that's pretty much why I try not to get too ambitious"

"Since the snow came, all the wife has done is look through the window. If it gets any worse, I'll have to let her in."

"[sips martini] *sigh* [sips margarita] Now THIS ONE is delicious! Waiter: Ma'am, you can't try drinks on other tables. Please sit down."

"What do you call a group of poor homeless people that show up to a party? Party paupers"

"Just got off the phone with my mom. She had a nice talk."

"What do you call a crush on a fat person? An inFATuation"