191922

Joke of the Day

"COMPUTER: HINT: name of best friend ME: Jen C: Jen sounds nice M: Wh-what? C: Is Jen single? M: Uh... C: Answer the question. Is Jen single?"

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"""What's math?"" - people who give 110%"
"Tomorrow I'm gonna chase someone...like really run after them..screaming and everything."
"Ted Cruz believes in Creationism so he was really pissed off his daughters could be monkeys."
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"Pythagoras was a skeptic... ...but now he believes in angles"
"Jewish telegram: ""Begin worrying. Details to follow."""
"dumbledore: our enchanted ceiling shows us wat the sky outside looks like mcgonagall: so...a magic glass ceiling dumbledore: [starts sweating]"
"What would the news headline be if virginity could be restored? Unfucking Believable?"
"I have a lot of road rage. FUCK ROADS!!!"
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