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Joke of the Day
"Lawyers aren't all bad.. 98% of lawyers make the other 2% look bad"
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"What do you call all the different ways a sperm can fertilize an egg? the spermutations."
"I was kicked out of the military because I got gonorrhea It was a dishonorable discharge"
"[fleeing the bank we just robbed] accomplice: play it cool this time, okay? me: GOD I HATE CRIME YOU GUYS police officer: alright he's clear"
"I'll stab someone if they hurt my kids. Or touch my nachos."
"What should you do if you get lots of e-mails saying 'What's up Doc? What's up Doc?' Check for bugs in your system."
"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you."
"Q: Why do businessmen carry umbrellas? A: Because umbrellas can't walk."
"Define Irony: The opposite of wrinkly"
"A man goes to his doctors who is partially deaf. Man: ""Doctor, Doctor! I feel like a volt!"" Doctor: ""You feel like a watt?"""