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Joke of the Day

"What do you call all the different ways a sperm can fertilize an egg? the spermutations."

"trump is shitting furiously into a golden toilet right this moment"

"Why do Mexicans always walk around like the own the place? Their dad built it, and their mom cleans it"

"How many police officers does it take to screw in a light bulb None, they just beat the room for being black."

"Why do they call it ejaculate... when it's usually early?"

"Hi, I'm from Brazil and I can't go to the backyard, I'm afraid my german shepherd will laugh instead of bark at me..."

"I always heard that if you shake it more than twice, you're playing with it. But now you're telling me that babies don't like it?"

"If you encounter a bear you should either play dead or be so vibrant that the bear is like ""whatever this person seems exhausting."""

"You lied! Santa Claus is NOT real, mom! If ""mom"" is even your real name... [Neighbor to mom] hi Susan! *kid faints*"

"The Tree Stooges: Moehogany, Cherry, and Curly Maple Alternate for Larry: Larchy"