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Joke of the Day

"[fleeing the bank we just robbed] accomplice: play it cool this time, okay? me: GOD I HATE CRIME YOU GUYS police officer: alright he's clear"

"What does a mathematician do when he's constipated? He works it out with a pencil."

"Want to know how I can see 6 years into the future? I have 2020 vision."

"What happened to the two ants who got into a fight on a toilet seat? They got pissed off."

"How many public school teachers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Whatever it says in the book."

"What do white girls and Prime numbers have in common? They can't even.."

"Hitler was a keen golfer..... He even wrote a book on it, it was titled 'How to get out of a bunker with one shot.'"

"Aren't you glad you no longer have that ""Call Me Maybe"" song in your head? Oops. Sorry. #SoCallMeMaybe!"

"What do you call a zoo that only has dogs? A Shih Tzu"

"I would vote for Trump if I could because I've never seen a president get assassinated"