191833

Joke of the Day

"So I phoned the Amputee Hotline the other day I got cut-off."

"Why can't you fight an accountant ? They'll always out number you!"

"Most guys will go gay for the night with the right amount of sangria & Foreigner playing in the background Don't ask me how I know"

"(NAME) is a terrific athlete. He recently ran the London Marathon he was aiming for 3 hours but just missed it! he made it in 3 hrs 150 minutes"

"Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The wheelchair!"

"Trigonometry Why can't Irish do trigonometry? They can't tan. Why can't Christians do trigonometry? They can't sin. Why can't the rest of us trigonometry? Just cos."

"Holy shit there's a spider under my keyboard I think it's under control"

"Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation."

"Operator: 911 what's your emergency? Me: PEOPLE ARE TAGGING ME IN PICTURES ON FACEBOOK AND I'M NOT EVEN IN THEM!"

"What do Apple and Blackberry have in common? Neither one has Jobs."