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Joke of the Day

"Coworker: What a crazy weekend! Me: *takes a knee* CW: What are you doing? M: Protesting this conversation."

"Jane Austen really squandered the opportunity to write a sequel called ""2 Proud 2 Prejudiced."""

"Today I was told a question is a great way to start a conversation. What do you think?"

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? ""I don't think I can get hard -- I just got laid this morning!"

"Him: Mm girl, back that ass up. Me: Like on iCloud or something?"

"What do you say to an art student with a job? ""Uhh, I would like the Quarter Pounder with Cheese"""

"As soon as I get to a party, I start saying goodbye; that way I'm out of there within 4 hours."

"What's the difference between a lobster and a Japanese woman run over by a steamroller? One's a crustacean and the other is a crushed Asian."

"I gave up my seat to a blind person in the bus. That is how I lost my job as a bus driver."

"Did you hear about the ointment... Did you hear about the ointment that couldn't stop talking about politics? When confronted, he said he was just trying to be topical."