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Joke of the Day

"When God eats mushrooms He has delusions of regular."

"If a guy calls Life Alert and says ""Help I can't get up!!"" Does he have ED or can he really not get up??"

"What are Mario's pants made of? Denim denim denim."

"When I die, I'd like my coffin to be filled with Reese's Pieces so on my headstone it can say ""R.I.R.P."""

"Lost My Bitcoins Last Week been trying to track them down ever since."

"What do you call women who get beat by their alcoholic husbands? Beer-battered wives"

"Why do mice have such small balls? Because so few of them know how to dance."

"What gets longer when pulled, fits between breasts, inserts neatly in a hole, and works best when jerked? A seatbelt"

"TIFU by posting a joke online... You had already reddit."

"I'm okay with selling fake ID's to minors because they're all organ donor cards."