191530

Joke of the Day

"Why did the console peasant cross the road? To render the buildings on the other side."

"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."

"Him- You're a useless piece of shit.. Me- Show me a useful piece of shit."

"I wonder if these beers are performance enhancing. I'm feeling pretty awesome!!"

"How often do i make jokes about chemistry? Periodically."

"The founder of the Hokie Pokie died the other day His funeral was a fiasco. First they tried to put his right foot in..."

"Today I got in touch with my inner self Last time I'm buying cheap toilet paper."

"What do you say to a virgin when she sneezes? Goesintight."

"*pushes vending machine over NO YOU'RE OUT OF ORDER!"

"My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure... ..So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die"