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Joke of the Day

"I'm a religious man living in Colorado, and I'm starting a marijuana business. I'm calling it Holy Smokes."

"I've stopped trying to understand sandwiches with a third piece of bread in the middle."

"Almost every McDonalds A fat girl served me in McDonald's at lunchtime. She said 'sorry about the wait'. I said, 'Don't worry, you'll find a way to lose it eventually'."

"[interview] What is your greatest strength? ""Throwing my voice"" You're hired! ""Ok great, thanks"" Wait I didn't say- oh wow you're good"

"Did you hear about the nudists that attempted to forcefully take over a local beach? It was roundly condemned as a case of naked aggression."

"What do you call a nautical plunderer who assists with the flight of an aircraft? A co-pirate"

"Why was Yoda afraid of the number Seven ... ? ... because *six seven ate*"

"What size bed comfortably fits a married couple? Twin. Because the husband has to sleep on the couch."

"So, you don't like hypothermia? All the cool kids are getting it."

"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."