191491

Joke of the Day

"""UK Students Die In Safari Crash"" I bet they wished they'd just stuck with Internet Explorer now."

"What do you call a seagull by the bay? A bagel."

"MUST HAVE BEFORE WATCHING THE CONJURING : - Bible - iBible iPhone app - Holy Water - Priest - Jesus - 5 Jesus necklaces - Holy Spirt"

"Not all of the weird sexual stuff you hear about is as good as it's cracked up to be... I mean you can tell me how great autoerotic asphyxiation is till you're blue in the face."

"I just burnt my tongue on my food. It made me realise that it's the ones we love that hurt us the most."

"Why did the chip chase the sauce? To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry"

"If I lived in medieval times I'd get laid a lot because ""Would dost thou enjoy my penis shoved into thine lady parts? sounds fucking classy."

"What do you call an Arab riding a camel with a goat on a leash? Bisexual."

"A man's bread shop burnt down Now his business is toast."

"It is only when a mosquito lands on your testicles, that you realise... ...there is always a way to solve problems, without using violence."