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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chip chase the sauce? To ketchup Edit: I'm sorry"

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time-consuming."

"My 2-year-old ate the crust off her pizza but left the cheese and pepperoni untouched. Apparently I'm raising the Antichrist."

"Why was the circuit arrested? Because it was charged with battery!"

"My kid's latest report card looks like someone with a stutter is trying to swear."

"They won't admit the Egypt flight crashed... ...because they're all in *da nile.*"

"Me: You have to be nice or Santa won't deliver any toys this year. 5: Me: 5: My brother lets me play with his."

"Well it's now clear to me that this crime scene would be considered, what? Pants required? Pants preferred? Hey, is that guy dead?"

"What do you call a gorilla that's hair is two different colors? Harambre"

"There Are Three Types of People in the World People who are good at math and people that aren't"